Wednesday, March 25, 2009

So much to say

I haven't blogged in a while.. which is pretty ironic seeing as how I've had loads of free time. I don't really have any excuse accept that I haven't felt much like myself... and didn't really want everyone to know that. The past several days have been full of sunshine which has been the best medicine I could have possibly hoped for. I'm feeling better about life and even optimistic. So its been about a month since I started interviewing with the U.S. Tennis Association. They have definitely taken their time in choosing someone for the recruiting position. Finally I got a phone call last week telling me that I was in the running and even at the top of their list. But yet I again I was told to wait. Yesterday I got an email asking for my earliest availability. I finally think I may have a job. They will be making their final decision on Friday... so I'll know then. If I don't get this job I may go postal. I like working and I really need money.

I need money cause I found this pretty new bike that I want. It is vintage looking red and white, and you know I'll be getting a basket and a dog carrier for when Abbey comes back to me! I am so excited about getting a cute little bike.

Now I have something a bit more serious to discuss. I do have to warn that the things I'm about to say may offend some people. In fact they may indeed offend some of my readers. My intent here is not to offend... but I am warning you that you may be offended if you keep reading. There that bit of housekeeping is taken care of... here we go!

Immigration. This is an issue near and dear to my heart. My family immigrated to the United States over 100 years ago. They came here from Sweden, Ireland, England and other Scandinavian countries. Some of them came legally... others came illegally. However, once they arrived in the U.S.A. they learned the native language (if they didn't already speak it) and they got jobs and did their best to assimilate in to the American "culture". My boyfriend, John's family came from Italy. They came not too long ago and were met with great hardships. They were treated cruelly by some because of their Italian heritage and had difficulty finding work. They however worked hard, learned English and started their own businesses and became part of the American culture. In fact... they assimilated so well that my boyfriend, who is 1st generation doesn't even speak Italian! (which I think is a shame)

So here it is.. 2009. My family only speaks English, John's family only speaks English, because well after all English is the language spoken in the USA and that is where I live. So can someone tell me why it is that when I want to apply to a job (almost any job) it is necessary that I am bi-lingual in Spanish? I am in no way saying that the illegal immigrants are taking jobs away from me. They are not. I would not work in the positions they fill. I am however growing increasingly annoyed that I am forced to learn a language of someone who for the most part makes no effort to learn the language of my country.

I get it. I have studied abroad. When you arrive in a place where you don't speak the language it can be scary. It can be downright terrifying. But... with minimal effort you can begin to learn the language. Yet... when that country caters to you and translates everything in to your native language. Hires only those who can speak to you in your native language and even devotes entire television stations to your native language... where is the incentive? There is none. It has become unnecessary to learn English to live in America. Its not just spanish either. There are complete villages by me in which signs are posted in Chinese and English.

For those of you that know me this may all come as a surprise. I love diversity. I celebrate differences. I love different cultures and I love learning from those with different back grounds. But in my job search, I have become increasingly annoyed by the special treatment given to those who refuse to even attempt to learn English. I know right now off the top of my head many people who have come to America from ALL parts of the world. Some of these people have come here without knowing any English, others came here knowing a little. It amazes me how some of them have struggled and taken classes and practiced and learned English... while others who ignorantly hold themselves back by choosing to not learn English. I am willing to take in to account that languages don't come easy to everyone. But I refuse to believe that you could want to live or feel comfortable living in a country for over ten years without learning to express yourself in their language!

I would like to note that I believe it is important to speak more than one language. For years now children all over Europe have learned English and French as second languages. I think those who are bi-lingual have an advantage in life. I'm just saying that I'm tired of people coming to this country and not even trying to be part of it. Hell we need them. We need their different life histories. We need their experience and knowledge. They are the part of the melting pot that is so beautiful. So buck up and learn English. Seriously!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Big Temple Wedding

I was surprised to see this secret on Post Secret this week.
My Mormon Mother was too busy crying

Because I wasn't getting married in the temple

to help me get ready on my wedding day.

I wish I could upload the picture of this secret but I am momentarily handicap. If you would like to see it please go to

Not surprised by the secret at all... but surprised at how it seems to fit me right now. I'm packing my bags now to go to Salt Lake for the wedding of my little sister. She is great. I love her. But I'm so bummed that I won't be able to see her wedding. Don't get me wrong... I couldn't be more proud of her. This is what she wants. I completely support her decision to get married in the temple. I'm just heart broken that I won't be able to see the wedding. 

Today it was brought to my attention that my parents are concerned at the things I may say while waiting outside of the temple for my sister and her new husband to turn up. The things I could say:

"Wow. Family huh? Nice families are together... when I'm outside at my own sister's wedding".
"This sucks. I flew 2,000 miles to see my sister's wedding... and I'm left standing outside".
"Stupid wedding anyway".
"Those jerks never accepted me anyway".
"Saddest day of my life is my sister's happiest".
"I wonder what they are doing in there... I hope they all come out alive".
"Anyone want a breathmint"?
"Did you see the last Big Love episode"?
"I wonder how many wives Heather's husband will marry". (By the way... Mormons don't really take on plural wives anymore... but there are real live polygamist in Utah.)

The list could go on. But instead what I'll probably say:
"Wow. I can't believe that my baby sister is getting married. I really wish I could see the wedding. But I know she will be happy and I'm proud of her for how far she has come". 

I am a little insulted that my parents would even think that I would handle the difficult situation with anything less than pure class. This battle between me and "The Church" has been going on for a long time... and I'm sure it will continue for many years from now. So I guess this will be one of the first big tests.  My whole life I have felt that my parents loved their religion more than they love me. They never asked me how my life was going or what I was interested in. The always asked me if I was attending church or if I was praying or reading my scriptures. This hurt. Hurt me so much that I am still dealing with my issues from it. I knew my place in their lives: Church, then Jessica. I truly hope that one day when I have children I will be more kind to them.

After discussing my feelings with my Father, he gave me the predicted response, "Well Jessica, you know how it works. You could have been there if you wanted too."

All I can say is, "WOW". Wish me luck. I'm seriously going to need it dodging the, "Why aren't you married yet, you old maid" and "How do you like your ward on the east coast" type of questions. All of this without an ounce of alcohol! I deserve a medal.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Officially Crazy

Thats it. I am officially crazy. There is no other explanation. I am not pregnant or going through menopause. But I sure am crying for no reason. Not sleeping and at the wrong look from anyone I am bound to burst in to tears. 

I'm so tired. I just want to go to Italy and live on a vineyard. So maybe that is where I will be.