Forgiveness....

So almost three years ago I had a major falling out with one of my best friends. It was all my fault. I let him down. And now three years later I'm still feeling so awful about it. We had so much fun together and I often remember the good times we had. One thing that we both loved was Sex and the City. As thrilled as I am every time I see the previews...I'm a little sad too. I miss Brian. I miss him so much in my life. He is so funny and so fun to be around. Everytime I hear the song, "The Heart of the Matter" which is used in the previews I think about Brian. I wish there was something I could do or say to take away the pain I caused him. Last week in my drunken stupor I thought about making him a big card and sending it, but I'm not even sure he wants anything to do with me. Brian is living in New York and I am so proud of him for getting there. He wanted to move out there for so long-so I wish him well. The thing is...I'm going to be moving back east very soon and I know that I'll most likely run in to Brian in the city, because well lets face it, this world is very very small. Rather than feel awkward, I'd really like to run up to him and give him a big hug. Brian, I'm sorry...really really sorry. As cheesy as it is, I'd like to ask for your forgiveness, I just don't know how.

Testosterone Depot

So I just had to run to Home Depot to get some "Open House" signs for my condo. I kind of hate going to Home Depot because it is so completely out of my element. Even pulling in to the parking lot I'm very intimidated by all of the big Monster trucks and SUV's. I swear one of those trucks is going to run right over me one day and not even know it.

Anyway...once I finally found a parking spot I ran inside. Once inside I was so overwhelmed I almost ran back out. But I kept my eyes on the prize and made my way through all of the steel toed men. Have you ever noticed how many choices there are at Home Depot? After finding the various signs, I had to decide on the size and style of the sign. I am no good at these types of decisions. It took me 4 different stops to decide on the color to paint my house that I'm selling.

After waiting in line for the self check out for far too long, some guy decided to cut in front of me. I was so annoyed that I actually stepped in front of him and went to the machine. I turned and smiled saying, "Actually I was waiting for this one". He grunted and went to a different machine. Wouldn't you know it-my stupid self check out register was frozen! So the jerk actually beat me out of the store. Ech! I'd really like to get these men on my turf...say in Nordstroms shoe department. haha

Needless to say, I sure hope I won't be making any more trips to Home Depot in the near future. It is much too overwhelming for me.

marvelous!

So today I was able to meet up with some old friends for lunch. It was so nice to catch up with everyone. It got me thinking about all of the wonderful people that I have been able to meet in my life.

Lets face it, my life so far has been a lot of fun, and very different than I ever thought it would be. In fact, I grew up with the notion that I would be a good little Mormon girl and marry some great returned missionary who baptized thousands, and we would live happily ever after while I was baking casseroles for the relief society sisters and he was home teacher of the year. (p.s. I am in no way bashing this life style, it works great for some people, just not great for me)

My, my, my....what a different path I've gone down. I still find it funny to think that by my age my mother had 3 children! I have a hard enough time balancing my time between my dog and my jobs. Maybe someday I'll be ready for kids, but for now I'm really doing just fine dealing with what I've got. I'll be honest, I'm sure glad I didn't marry that returned missionary who baptized thousands of people. There are many reasons, but the main one is...well he never existed for me. I dated a few "Mormon" guys and we never clicked. I suppose there is just something about me that makes me and the "Mormon boys" incompatible. I think that my parents have come to terms with it...but we'll see how they deal with the bombshell that I may be dropping on them.

Anyway, I sure am glad I was able to meet the wonderful people that I worked with at Real...but I don't really miss working there. Not one bit! I'm off to bed now cause I have to clean my house beyond recognition and get it ready for someone to buy it tomorrow!

note to self...

working with the public blows!

beer before liquor...you get sicker quicker!

oh yuck!!!! Can I just say that last night I did not have brilliant judgment. Trust me...I'm paying for it today! I don't even want to remember what I drank last night, but as I stumbled up the stairs of my condo...I couldn't wait to hit the toilet. I didn't even get out of bed until one o'clock today. All I have to say is "Damn the Irish for making those car bombs"! Johns said this was a true sign that I'm not as young as I used to be and can no longer drink like an idiot. haha Point taken. I did have fun with my girls last night....I only wish that I wouldn't have ended the evening on the toilet with my face down in it.

Saturday....my day off!

So here I am....in my beautiful clean house! The only part about trying to sell my condo that I love is how nice my house looks. I really am an anal clean girl...if you've ever been to my house, I know you don't believe it-but I love it when everything is in its place. I feel like my brain can breathe. haha

My sister in law, Lisa is my realtor and so today she had a showing after my open house, so Abbey, Julia and I went to the park. It was so nice out. It was fun to spend some time with Julia and watch Abbey wanting to chase the ducks but being terrified of actually getting wet. I swear I have found myself in a dog. I personally think my dog is brilliant. I hate getting wet unless I'm already planning on it. I would never run in to a mucky park pond with ducks swimming in it. Abbey feels the same way. I just love her. She is so sweet and doesn't even mind seeing me naked.

Tonight I'm going to dinner with the girls! I couldn't be more excited. It has been so long since we've all been able to get together and hang out. I've been working way too much lately and I feel like I've missed out on so much. Sure...my bout of depression didn't really help matters either. I think I finally have my head on semi-straight and I'm good to go. Only time will tell of course.

The good news of the week is that I actually feel like I've made peace with Utah, so now I can go. I was so bitter and angry towards this place I'm currently in. Its been a constant battle because there are many things that I love about Utah. They are the following: my family, my friends, my house and hmmmm my dog. There that's it. But honestly it is beautiful here. It just doesn't tug at my heart the way that other places do. Yet, I knew that I had to make some kind of peace with Utah before I could move on.

The other good news is that I have today off from work! I love having today off....I just don't know what to do with myself! My house is clean, I have no homework or anywhere to be for two hours. It is awesome! Hurray for Saturday! Now if only I could get laid. I really need to get laid. I'm at my breaking point. my problem is that I have some morals now...and well lets face it, I'm past my "fun lay" age. I'm more in to the "get laid by someone you love" phase...and well that is just complicated. EH! Guess its me and Bob.

a few observations

So I went shopping the other day to buy something to wear to work. Its sometimes frustrating because I don't really have a ton of money right now...but I need nice things to wear to work. So as I was shopping I noticed a funny trend in the "women" sizes. All of the brands were called like Goddess or something like that. I actually laughed out loud in the store because I thought about how bigger women are always trying to call themselves voluptuous and goddess like....which I think is fine for them...but as I'm shopping for a bigger size than I would like to wear, I don't feel like a goddess-I just feel fat. No name on the clothing I purchase will make me feel better about my size...so I quickly ran out of the store and did a work out video at home.

Today I took Abbey to this gorgeous park for a nice walk. As we walked through the park Abbey continually felt the need to sniff and relieve herself. As the walk grew to an end...I noticed she was running out of pee. haha She had left her scent on so many places in the park already that she could barely leave one more. It got me to thinking how funny it would be if humans went around leaving their scent everywhere. I'm not really sure why dogs do this...but I think it has something to do with territory and leaving their mark for dogs of the opposite sex. I laughed as I thought how funny it would be if every time I saw a cute guy I would pee to get his attention. I wonder if it would work. I seriously doubt it, so I won't be trying it anytime soon.

Its so nice out today, I'd really like to have a "sick day", but as it turns out I can't really afford a sick day...and I do have tomorrow off! Hallelujah.

Hotel Etiquette....

So I have worked in the hotel industry a long ass time. During this time I have checked in and out thousands of people. During my time in the hotel I've noticed a few things that I would like to point out to travelers. I know that in fact most of the people that read this blog...and I know that no one that I know would ever behave poorly in a hotel...but on the off chance that I may reach out to some travel jerk....I'm posting this here.

1. Don't call the hotel directly for reservations. Some hotel front desk clerks have to make them and answer 50 other calls and deal with the guests all by themselves...call the reservations desk...it is their soul purpose in life to make reservations. You won't get a better deal by calling the hotel directly-I PROMISE! Sometimes you can walk in to a hotel and get a great rate if the hotel is slow and the front desk clerk is in a good mood. Be nice, tell a joke...be cool and you could get a better rate, depending on the hotel.

2. When you check in....do not call the front desk clerk a pet name....i.e. sweetie...honey...sugar....any of those-we don't think its cute.

3. If the front desk clerk is friendly and smiles at you....9 times out of 10...she/he is not interested in coming up to your room later...they are smiling and being friendly because it is their job. It is not amusing to be invited up to a guests room, it is annoying-so don't do it.

4. If you would like to request a special room, a particular floor, a free upgrade-mention that when you make the reservation. It is easier to make those types of changes before you check in...and before you are standing in the middle of the lobby whining about the floor you've been assigned.

5. Be nice! Always be nice! If you are rude to the front desk clerk....do you really think they are going to give you a free upgrade? UMMMMM....nope...."I'm sorry there doesn't seem to be any available". Ever heard that before? Well it isn't always true....but if you're rude or annoying...I guarantee it is what you will hear.

6. If you have a huge concern or issue with the hotel...DO NOT SCREAM at the front desk person. Calmly tell them what happened and listen for their response. If you feel like you are getting no where with them...kindly ask to speak with their manager or supervisor. Unfortunately hotels are open 24 hours a day 7 days a week...yaddi yada....so there isn't always a manager available. If this is the case, ask for the managers business card and contact them later. It varies upon the hotel...but many front desk agents do not have the authority to issue you more points for your stay or to refund you for your stay. Be patient and allow them to do their job. They are definately not paid enough to take any verbal abuse from you.

7. If you see the front desk agent speaking with another guest, do not barge in. It is rude, and no one thinks you are as important as you do.

8. Tip the housekeeping staff. They work very hard and are not paid well. Especially if you leave your room particularly messy...it is considerate but not expected to leave a 1-2$ tip per day. Of course you can always leave more if they did an excellent job.

9. If you enjoyed your stay, let them know...if you did not, please let them know. Most hotels actually do care about what their guests think. Feedback helps us to decide which employees are best and what we can do to improve.

10. I guess most of these are just common decency tips that can be applied to any day to day activities, but I hope that people will try and recognize them as they travel. Remember...you are representing your company, your country and your family.

alright....ok....

Fine! Maybe whoever said I needed to change my attitude was right. I did...and well things are looking up. Its hard sometimes to focus on the future when you feel so trapped in your present. Based upon the news of last week....I'm actually surprised that I'm feeling so good. But I somehow just stopped caring about other people's actions. Instead I'm focusing on me. I am graduating in a month! That is so exciting. I've worked so hard on this for 10 years! I'm still in shock that this day is coming....but I know that it is. I bought my cap and gown last week and I even tried it on. It feels so good to have accomplished something. One of the reasons I went back to school was because I felt like I keep having these projects that went unfinished....so I took the biggest project and tackled it. I sort of fill like I may be able to tackle all of the other projects that have been left undone.

I have to admit though that I'm feeling a little tired of relationships. I mean like....romantic relationships. I feel like I have had such rotten luck in them my whole life. Maybe I'm just not cut out to be with someone else. Fine. It will take me some time to accept that...but when I do, I'll be OK. I suppose it could be a lot worse...I could be stuck in some polygamist compound or married to some guy that beat me. So I supposed I'm lucky that I'm single...because lets face it...with the luck I've had in relationships....I'd probably have a horrible marriage too. Being single also allows me to follow my dream. I can pick up and move...because well-its only me. It can be very sad and lonely at times...but that is just life. And I'm about to have a great life.